Are short-term relationships worth it?

Being in your twenties as a Gen-Z sucks, especially when it comes to relationships (I mean, look at the number of words we have devised for the kind of relationships we face!). Over the past year, I have seen, and experienced, way too many asks, about short-term relationships. Most of them are simply for “fun”, but what happens when the short-term is something more meaningful than that? Are such relationships worth it? 

My short answer is - yes. 

There are a few people in life who change us in ways we cannot imagine. In their presence, life seems a little better - warmer, and perhaps more bearable. But for whatever reason, there is an end to this subscription. And we know for a fact that you cannot run the long run with them. I have realized, though, that sometimes it is okay to take a leap of faith with such people - even if it is for a short period of time. As long as there is trust - as long as you know that the person would never seek to intentionally hurt you - each person deserves a fresh chance. 

“One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed.” - all relationships hurt at some point. We have to decide which ones are worth hurting for.

Image Courtesy - bisyatraveller.com

The long answer, though, is - no. 

So, the taming hurts. 

It breaks you into pieces. To be vulnerable is to be naked in honesty - the pursuit, and the subsequent termination of such endeavors is but to choose the path of destruction. The risk that a short-term relationship runs, is the one of regret. It makes you question your decisions, and sometimes, even who you are as a being. The months or perhaps years that follow, can be one of the hardest of your life. Moreover, how do you decide who is actually worth it? What in that person would tell us, with all scientific certainty, that they would never intentionally hurt us? 

I have also come to realize that endings matter. 

How you end things with a person - how those last few days, those last few words of gratitude and memories, unfold - matter. It matters how you are treated - during, and at the end of a relationship. When endings are warm, the relationship seems worth it. When endings fail to reach that mark, all that is left is burnt, charcoaled regret and fresh, enlivening pain. 

The sad part, though, is that you’ll never be able to guarantee the end, until it ends. Not all of us are mature enough to handle such things - in fact in this tech-driven world that values IQ so much, EQ is a rare breed. 

Love is risky. I think it’s the biggest risk you take because it adds onto the emotional baggage you carry. I’ve spent nights wondering if people are worth it at all - after all, you’d find one good person after meeting a 100, and that probability doesn’t deserve the mental expenditure most of the time. 

So, if you ask me objectively, I’d say that I’d never do it - no one is worth the nausea, sleepless nights, crying spells, and the absolute, downright destruction of your life that comes as a by-product of heartbreak. But love makes us act differently. It makes us want to live in the moment, for the person we are in that moment with. 

So if you’re courageous enough - if you’re certain that the person is worth the risk, the vulnerability, the good and the ugly - go for it. Love is after all, an adventure sport - and someone has to take the plunge for it :)