The three things that have been on my mind since the last 3 weeks
The answer to almost everything in life is to let go.
The last few weeks have been one with a bit of an emotional turmoil for me. I’ve had a few fall-outs with friends, and have been very close to a burn-out due to the ongoing vicissitudes of life. But I don’t think the problems in themselves are the problems - my reaction to all of it, is.
So here is the truth - I struggle to let go. People, time and again, disappoint me because I want everyone to think the way I do. Barely anybody does, and I crash under the weight of my own, unneeded expectations. But this time, I've been swifter to take actions - I've let these people, experiences and circumstances go - as fast as it was emotionally possible for me to.
People will do what they want to. Consequently, you do what needs to be done. Replicate, or let go. It's difficult at first - because of the emotional investment that goes into actions, relationships and experiences - but perhaps just as necessary.
There is no “how-to” in life.
I’m someone who has always looked for examples in life - has anyone “like me” done this before? Do we have enough historical evidence that something I want to do, is in fact, doable? And here’s what I’ve realized - this is a recipe for disaster.
Nobody has a template of life. Nobody can tell me if something I’m doing will work - or won’t.
No self-help book can teach me personal finance or emotional regulation. And sure as hell, nobody can tell me that a 2-year mark is when I should move on with my life and find another job.
I decide what works for me. If walks are better than hitting the gym. If studying early in the morning is better than late night sprints. If I want to stay at my job. If I want someone to exist in my life - as a friend, or as an acquaintance. Nobody gets to guilt, or “experience talk” you into your journey. It is okay to discuss things, but when your life becomes a democracy of the people (this includes what you watch on social media, btw), you might want to rethink what you’re doing.
Motivation is a fizzling bomb. Discipline is everything.
I lost most of my motivation to get things done. I struggled to get through the day at my job, to join yoga classes or to even write this blog. Everything started feeling like continuous white noise, devoid of any significance.
It became important for me to realize then, that motivation is NOT perennial. It is not something you can wait around for - at its best, it’s a week-long house guest. What works, and is consistent, is discipline. And a constant reminder of what you dream to be one day. It is not easy to get things done after work - to hit the walking track, to work on a side project, or to even wake up at 6AM to get life in place. But things do not have to be easy, to be done.
There’s just one thing I want myself, and perhaps all those I love, to realize - hardships are in the nature of being human. The only way we introduce simplicity into our lives, is by keeping those (people & things) who bring us peace, close, and letting go of everyone & everything else. Even if that comes with the risk of feeling temporarily lonely or demotivated. Everybody has it tough, so it is best to silently exit the noise, when it starts to feel like that. Realize what is your sunk cost fallacy, and risk it - whether in the act of doing, or in the one of letting go.
Also, a gentle reminder as a exit this blog -
High risk, high reward.
Always.
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